Apparently we have “special salt”. At least that was what I was told yesterday. As we are slowly getting through our financial crisis Mrs. Dirt Boots went shopping yesterday and decided to buy some of this “special salt”.
I am assuming each crystal was hand picked by elves (who charged a lot) and then each crystal was cut individually by the most experienced (and expensive) diamond cutting expert on the planet.
This “special salt” is called Maldon salt. Oh oh oh and it is approved by the Organic Food Federation (which surely fills me with joy).
There was me assuming that salt was salt and that sea salt is sea salt. Oh, how wrong I apparently was.
I was informed that our “special salt” is far superior to all that rubbish salt that the riff-raff and the very poor use. No, this Maldon salt is “special”. It is THE finest salt. Far better than your usual rubbish.
Here are a few quotes from Mrs. Dirty Boots that she gave yesterday as I started to become very concerned for the future of our finances once I discovered that the “special salt” that she had bough actually cost a little bit more than it would to feed 27 families for about 160 years or so.
I honestly quote what I was informed of yesterday about our “special salt”
“It tastes better, not in a taste way but in a distribution way”
“I like it because it’s a little lumpy but not lumpy”
And many other gems filled with just as much insight and depth.
To be fair we have been extremely constrained for about a year when it comes to superfluous spending and we have not spent a penny that was not absolutely necessary. I just never knew that you could buy a small nation for the price of a little bit of salt (it does come in a box though, and with a picture of a piece of lettuce on it no less).
I told the good lady (and her “special salt”) that I would allow her to see if she was justified by allowing the readers to defend her. I, for one, don’t think anyone will come to her defense but if you too use “special salt” then try to convince me that she has bought a far superior salt to the “normal salt” that I have never had a problem with for the 36 years I have been living on this watery planet that has left salt in abundance for me to put on my chips.
Oh, by the way, I am informed it is also so “special” because although it has large crystals like rock salt, you can crumble it between your fingers which you can’t do with “normal salt”.
I am so pleased about that. I mean, what would we do otherwise if we didn’t have our “special salt” to perform such miracles with.
Well you and I can complain all we want about “Special Salt” not being special but I think it’s hilarious that Google Adsense put a Swanson Vitamins ad right next to your post. 🙂 I prefer sea salt by the way.
I needed to spend some money, he wanted fish and chips for his supper (which I very kindly made) so I thought it would be nice to have special salt just like my posh mum likes to use. And it did taste delightful & was crumbly & will last years since I now do not need to share the posh box of special salt with him!
It was that or new shoes!
I’m slightly disappointed that you haven’t both hitched a lift down to your nearest costa, with the largest paella pans you can find tucked under your arms, ready to harvest your own sea salt.
Time to find your inner elf Mr Dirtyboots!
If Mrs DB has found salt that actually comes out through the holes in the salt pot, then it’s worth any amount of money! Other than that I would have gone for the new shoes as I haven’t had any for ages.
Jan – Yes, what is it with the salt here? Have found the only way to keep salt ‘mobile’ is to keep it in a box instead of anything with holes – works a treat I don’t know why you’d think it would get damp and claggy but it doesn’t. I would have liked shoes (it was my birthday) but I really couldn’t justify new shoes for faffing about on the mountain and I got myself nice new shiny wellies last year 🙂
Goo – I must dig out his elf hat and send him off to the coast!
Very funny post, and I snort in derision right along with you.
Moreover, How LOVELY your website is, and I’m so impressed each time I come (which isn’t nearly often enough!)
Thought of you recently as I did Many Creative Things with several very large bins of leftover woodstove ash. Helpful indeed.
Almostgotit
Ah, a sympathiser, thank you. Now, you have me intrigued about the woodash, what were all the Many Creative Things?
Well, I use kosher salt and really don’t like regular salt. There is a difference in taste and texture. Kosher costs more than regular and I still buy it. I’ve used sea salt, but it didn’t seem that much more tasty than kosher so I never bought it again. However, salt is pretty important to cooking so if you really find the “special” salt tastes better, then I say go for it. But you have to be honest and ask yourself was this really just a case of “I want it and I’m going to have it, no matter what”.
Okay, so I feel like a fraud, but I shall justify my massive salt indulgence as follows; for six euros I got enough super posh malden sea salt to last me years as it shall only be used on the occasional batch of chips and salad. All my cooking is still done with a tiny amount of el cheapo budget sea salt! And yes, after several years of buying very little that was not on the ‘totally necessary’ list, I went mad and bought special salt. 🙂
And, you know what – that plate of fish and chips tasted divine even if Mr DB could not tell the difference!
I pay about four times the price of regular salt for sea salt, but it is still only $1.50.
I love maldon salt. it is freaking delish. i get her point about it being crumbly between your fingers. and oh my on potatoes it is delightful.
@ Jan. Dry rice in the salt pot should help. It won’t come out of the holes & stops the salt from getting damp 😉
As for “Special Salt”… I have to admit to further extravagance. Himalayan Salt is my personal favourite. Not just because it’s pretty & pink, but the mineral balance is much healthier than NaCl (Table Salt)